On February 28th, 2016, the world said goodbye to an influential and quality meme that proved to be hilarious and persistent for many years: sad, Oscarless Leonardo DiCaprio. While fans cheered for Leo...
After the sweeping victory at the Georgia State Swimming Championship, the Lambert Swim & Dive team decided to take a victory lap through the diameter of the wind-swept and frigid Atlantic Ocean. The lap,...
Growing evermore depressed by the student’s apathy towards his lesson, local Social Studies teacher Every Thompson told the Red Onion this Monday that he didn’t know what else he could do to encourage...
Finding issues with fellow students, faculty, and generally everything that she disagrees with, Sarah Eldmenn, a freshman who became active on social media platforms Twitter and Tumblr this holiday season,...
With Georgia Doom’s Day among us, snow dusted the yards of our suburban homes and iced over the pavement of our shrubbery-lined walkways… the perils of slipping has been upon us. The other day, during...
Due to the incredible dangers that a slight drizzle can create, school has been cancelled across Forsyth County, resulting in a potent desire to sleep all day and the horrid task of snow-day assignments....
You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen, Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen. But can you recall… their blatant sexism and racism?
That’s right folks. Fasten your seatbelts, as...
“I aspire to be like Ferris Bueller,” explains the cool, sly senior Benny Smith. Since the school year started up around three months ago, Smith has missed a total of 41 days of instruction. He proudly...
When I entered high school four years ago, I expected the greatest challenge that I had faced thus far. Throughout my freshmen year I waited cautiously for the difficulty spike to rise from the mediocre...
While students are delighted to see the reappearance of tastier snacks in the school vending machines, the truth is that the administrators are playing a dangerous game. Reinstating chocolate and sugary...
Noting that participation in marching band has fallen significantly in upperclassmen, a study published by the Red Onion has found that interest in marching band continues to decline as more teenagers...
Describing these instances as periods of intense anguish and annoyance, the local teacher told reporters at the Red Onion that she has been pestered with educational inquiries for the entirety of her teaching...
