It’s Okay Not to Know

Sharon Kim, Back Page Editor

I don’t know about you, but for me, the one question that can ruin my whole day is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Don’t get me wrong, the question itself is perfectly fine to ask, the problem is, the never-ending train of thought that comes after the question. After understanding that I don’t have a straight answer, the next question I’ll be asked would be, “Well, do you know what you want to major in in college.” At this point, all I really want to do is grab the person by their shoulders and violently shake them while yelling out loud, “Why in the world would you think I would know what I want to major in, if I don’t know what I want to do with my life!”

Alright, I get the reason why people are curious about me and my future, they’ve seen me grow up, go through the different stages in life, and carried me out of all my struggles, but still I feel as if I have let someone down when I don’t have the answer. I can’t help but feel bad when the disappointment is obviously noticed on the faces of my peers, but they seem to forget that I too am disappointed. It may seem that teenagers just cruise through life, young, free, and careless, however I can say that our “species” have a lot more thought and concerns that race around in our minds. We are fully aware about the atmosphere around us and can easily perceive how people feel towards us. So when we are asked the inevitable question, “What do you want to do?” and we don’t have the answer, I want others to know that we also get frustrated because we are trying to find our purpose in this world, and the constant reminder of being lost, just keeps us on edge. Not only this, but it truly hurts us to see the failed concealment of calamity, because we want to make our family and friends proud and reassure them that we are going to succeed in life. However, when we ourselves do not have the answer then it is hard for us to look into the eyes of our loved ones and tell them, “I’m sorry, but I do not know.” This discouragement is known to be the piercing spear thrown into our hearts.

Now, there are those fortunate few who already know and have their whole lives planned out, and lucky for them they don’t have to go through this unfortunate stage of confusion and obscurity, but for those who have no clue on what their next chapter in life will be, know that it is okay to be lost. Like myself, you might feel that your head is barely above water and that the walls are starting to close in on you, but let me console you by telling you that this is a part of your journey. I have come to terms that every experience I have had so far, every struggle that I am facing right now, and every obstacle that will knock me down in the future all happen to be in my life to make me grow into a better person. So, if you are a teen who feels as if you don’t know what your place in this world is, the next time a person asks “the question” respond by saying, “I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet, or what I want to major in, but I do know that my journey in life has just begun, and in the end I will be alright.”