STAFF EDITORAL: Should couples break up before college?
Jessica Borla – NO
“I think we should see other people in college.” “I don’t think I can maintain a long distance relationship.” “No matter what, I’ll always love you.” Okay, there are some circumstances where these are acceptable reasons to end a relationship. However, assuming that a couple has been together for AT LEAST a few months in this situation, they should NOT break off a relationship just because they are leaving for school. All of a sudden, because two people are moving a little ways apart, their feelings are dropped off the face of the earth just like that? All of the months/years of being so “exclusive” to each other, now they simply “go their separate ways?” Not in my book! I know long-term couples that have stayed together throughout college, as well as long-term couples that broke it off right before college. When comparing the two, even if college is supposed to be a whole new world with whole new people, the people that I know that stayed together do not regret it. No matter how far the distance, loving/caring about someone should be enough to make a person continue to pursue the relationship, not throw it away.
Elizabeth Findley – YES
For the most part, the people we date in high school are not the people we end up dating in college, let alone the people we spend the rest of our lives with. College is a place to have new experiences and try new things and feeling tethered to someone who is miles and miles away has the potential to greatly limit this amazing opportunity we all have to learn more about ourselves and who we really are. As my mom always says when famous couples split up, it is so hard to be in a relationship if the couple never sees each other and never spends time with one another. And while celebrity relationships are on a different scale than teenage relationships, the same concept is still in place. Long-distance relationships are so challenging and require so much work, which is hard to accomplish when new college students are already working so hard to adjust to their new life. The truth is, when incoming college students are exposed to a whole new group of people, who knows who they will meet.
Quinn Forney – UNDECIDED
It’s a matter of personal choice. I can’t tell someone whether or not couples attending different colleges should break up any more than they can tell me what I can or can’t do. Imposing my opinion on someone else’s relationship just seems kind of bothersome and not beneficial in any way whatsoever. If people want to stay together and try and maintain a long-distance relationship, they can go ahead and do it. Their choices aren’t mine to control.
Madeline Laguaite – NO
One of the most important things in a relationship is mutual understanding. Studying at different schools will most likely make a relationship complicated; however, it is not a solid reason for breaking it off. In order for it to work and be classified as a successful relationship, both sides have to put in effort. If you believe the relationship will survive a bit of distance, there is a greater chance it will. Ergo, being miles apart doesn’t necessarily mean that couples should break up; however if both sides agree splitting would be the best thing for them individually, breaking up would be understandable.
Jordan Meaker – YES, BUT…
College is a time for students to explore what they truly want in life and in many ways, it’s a time to grow up. I feel that if I was in a relationship at the end of my senior year, I would want to break up with my boyfriend so I could enjoy college life without the stress of a long-distance relationship and so I could have the ability to explore new relationships. I mean, how are you supposed to know what you want for dinner unless you sample the buffet? However, I have never been in a serious relationship before, with a person I could see myself spending all of college and potentially the rest of my life with. I think the odds of any high-schooler finding someone like that are slim to none. That being said, if there are any soul-mates out there who are still in high school, I’d say go for it, but hopefully you know what love really is. For anyone who just casually dates, however, I think the best course of action would be to break up to avoid extra stress and develop new relationships.
SungMin Park – YES, BUT…
My advice would be to keep it. Nobody knows what will happen until he or she tries, especially with the opportunities available today. We are blessed with the internet. We can communicate in real time through instant messaging and live video calls. It is enough to allow anyone to share and sustain affections. The catch is that it will take effort. Maybe more emotions have to be pumped into those stale texts. Time needs to be taken from a busy schedule in order to call. Skype requires brandwidth, a camera, and a microphone. Perhaps the couple, now in high-school, already deals with everything I just mentioned. They then must realize that these issues will only increase in (almost) direct proportion with the miles of separation. And nothing can replace personal interaction. Relationships thrive off the power of presence, so meetings need to be arranged. If they are within driving distance, the obstacles would include gas cost, time, and potential traffic. If they need to fly to see each other, then those same inconveniences would only increase. Planning a flight, purchasing tickets, and arriving at the airport are all things one has to push through. So yes, please continue the relationship, but realize the added price that comes with distance.
Olivia Pastore – YES, BUT…
For a majority of relationships in high school, people are generally in relationships for the social zeal and tumult it creates to spice up the monotonous days of having monotone instructors cramming too much information in our brains. The brain of a man and woman do not fully develop until around 25-28 years of age, so at this point high school teenagers do not posses a full understanding of what love actually is. College is a better time to explore and date to narrow down personality traits to end up finding someone to get married. High school students seem to forget that dating is actually the process one goes through before finding someone to spend the rest of their life with. All in all I do believe couples should break up if they are going to different colleges, however there are a few exceptions. If the couple has been dating for an extensive period of time (past the 3 month social experiment period) and have proven to have strong foundations and values, then let them do what they want. In the end, who am I to judge?
Nusaybah Smith – NO
In my personal opinion, it should take more than a change of situation to break apart a relationship, much less going to college. If maturing in life and moving to the next stage is too much for a couple, they’re inevitably doomed from the start. If someone truly is invested in a relationship, then they will be adaptable to circumstances, especially because things have the tendency to constantly change. Stability isn’t a guarentee, and certain factors never allow it to be a reality. Being one part of a whole two involves a maturity that some people cannot handle, and I believe changing residency and growing up should not be an excuse. There are definitely reasons why someone would want to specifically get away from a partner, but in most cases I truly believe it should be taken in stride and worked through as much as possible. When it comes down to it, going away to college is an exercise of sensibility that not everyone has the energy or motivation to follow through with. Breaking up a relationship is a decision between the people involved, but I don’t believe the simple reality of college should influence it.
Cayla Vanderzanden – YES, BUT…
In most cases, I believe the most advantageous decision would be to break up. College is an entirely new place full of entirely new people. Those several years are said to be some of the finest of a person’s life. I believe that staying devoted to a high school sweet heart will keep someone wedged in those high school years. Their focus will be on keeping a steady relationship instead of growing new ones. The distance and time management would also be very difficult. However, there are several cases in which I believe a couple should stay together. If the couple is so consumed with love and can’t envision a life without each other; staying together is a superior idea. If that person is their soul mate or the only person they can ever imagine marrying; they shouldn’t terminate the relationship. The answer to this question depends entirely on the situation. Every relationship is diverse.
Lael White – UNDECIDED
In most cases, couples put in this situation break up because they can’t survive being so far apart from eachother for so long, because it physically hurts to be away from them because of how much you love them. But, whether you break up or not, they will still be in another state and you will still be away from them, and if you truly loved each other, wouldn’t you rather be dating them while they are away rather than not? In some cases, this is how the couple views their situation that they would rather be together while they are apart than not together while they are separated. If you truly love each other it is absolutely worth a long distance relationship. On the other hand, if you feel that you are not each other’s soul mates and that you are just together to be together, a break up seems reasonable considering you don’t want to stay together in the future, a long distance relationship may not be the best idea. In the end, the decision of breaking up is all up to the couple and their feelings, and the solution is always mutual.
Logan White – UNDECIDED
In some cases, I believe that breaking up before leaving for different colleges can be a logical decision, depending on the strength of the relationship. If a couple has been together for a while, feels completely devoted to their relationship, or would say that they are in love, breaking up would be an unnecessarily drastic measure. But, if a relationship would only hold the couple back, then breaking up could be the best option. College is a new chapter in the lives of students, and latching onto a commitment that would only hold them back would become a burden rather than a healthy relationship. College is a place where most meet the person they spend the rest of their life with. If a high school sweetheart is that person, then maintaining a long-distance relationship is worth the fight and will undoubtedly stay strong against the odds. But, without commitment, it will only prevent the couple from moving on from high school. Remaining stuck in the past can only hold people back, unless they are devoted to growing a real relationship with someone that they love and are willing to fight for.
Jessica Wilder – NO
Senior year is probably the most difficult year on an emotional level, especially if there is a situation where two people are dating and they hold their breath as the acceptance letters arrive. Asking around for an opinion on this might get a 50/50 chance at either answer. It’s sad, really. More often than not, a lot of couples in senior year have that little gray cloud hanging above their heads; the “break up” cloud, as it is known. Friends may talk about future plans and say in a very sassy tone, “you’re not still going to be with them, right? It’s college, you need to experiment and find other people”. Well, I am calling total bologna on that right here and right now. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me is a sucker for relationship stories that work out in long distance and people call me unrealistic. Okay, come on though, in reality, if two people are happy together and they want to make it work, they should have a good support system with them because yes, it may be difficult to keep a relationship afloat the way it was before, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
Kelly Yoon – NO
The word, couple, is describing two people who are attracted to each other with the feelings of love. They have special relationship with one another that is beyond just friends. As people graduate from high school and are now ready to move on to their next new chapter of life, college, some may end up in different places than their loved ones. Yes, one might not see his or her partner for a while due to different colleges that may be across the whole continent. Both may feel difficult to keep the relationship strong. However, can that be the only reason for the breakup? Distance is only interpreting the length of the space between couples. Just because they’re not right next to you, can you really not feel the love from your girlfriend or boyfriend? I strongly feel that unless the two does not feel the spark for each other, they should not break up due to their physical separation.