The Lambert Post

School to begin sneaking snacks into vending machine when Michelle Obama isn’t looking

Chocolates, chips, and Chex  Mix are back... but at what cost?
November 11, 2015

While students are delighted to see the reappearance of tastier snacks in the school vending machines, the truth is that the administrators are playing a dangerous game. Reinstating chocolate and sugary...

Study finds that students quit band when they discover music streaming

Former, accomplished musician quits in order to do nothing.
October 27, 2015

Noting that participation in marching band has fallen significantly in upperclassmen, a study published by the Red Onion has found that interest in marching band continues to decline as more teenagers...

Local teacher expresses annoyance with student questions

Teacher gives menacing and scolding look to curious student.
October 21, 2015

Describing these instances as periods of intense anguish and annoyance, the local teacher told reporters at the Red Onion that she has been pestered with educational inquiries for the entirety of her teaching...

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