The Lambert Post

School to begin sneaking snacks into vending machine when Michelle Obama isn’t looking

Chocolates, chips, and Chex  Mix are back... but at what cost?

Jordan Meaker, Editor-in-Chief

November 11, 2015

While students are delighted to see the reappearance of tastier snacks in the school vending machines, the truth is that the administrators are playing a dangerous game. Reinstating chocolate and sugary snacks such as Muddy Buddies, chocolate pretzels, and Pop Tarts is no easy task, revealed a vending...

Study finds that students quit band when they discover music streaming

Former, accomplished musician quits in order to do nothing.

Riley Findley, Opinions Editor

October 27, 2015

Noting that participation in marching band has fallen significantly in upperclassmen, a study published by the Red Onion has found that interest in marching band continues to decline as more teenagers discover Spotify. According to the study, many students were in marching band purely to listen to the...

Local teacher expresses annoyance with student questions

Teacher gives menacing and scolding look to curious student.

Riley Findley, Opinions Editor

October 21, 2015

Describing these instances as periods of intense anguish and annoyance, the local teacher told reporters at the Red Onion that she has been pestered with educational inquiries for the entirety of her teaching career. “Generally the students are rather apathetic, but every now and then one has the audacity...