kbrookes via flickr.com

Local freshman still confused about which side of hallway to walk on

Seen looking puzzled and in intense contemplation outside of the 1800 hallway, a local freshman expressed her frustration at her inability to understand which side of the hallway to walk on during class changes. “My brother tried to tell me it’s like driving, where everyone drives on the right side of the road. So everyone should walk on the right side. But I’ve never driven a car before! All my friends have the permits but I don’t,” she lamented, adding that this advice had been no help in the overwhelming rush between classes. After 3rd period on Wednesday, the poor girl was spotted battling upstream in a swarm of students, clutching her lunchbox to her chest and receiving several grumbles from impatient students. “I can’t win!” she exclaimed, throwing her crumpled schedule in the air in exasperation. At press time, she disclosed that she also did not yet know where the media center was, and still believed in the existence of the “pool on the roof.”

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