What’s the Situation(ship)?


Situationships! Source: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/situationships-why-theyre-not-worth-it

Modern dating SUCKS. There is such a fine line between what could be and what is. The lines of proper dating etiquette are so blurred that you could be declared legally blind. Your prescription would be so bad you would not qualify for LASIK anymore.  

Guys suck. Not only guys but a very little number of girls also suck. Dating during high school can be especially tricky because we don’t know the level of maturity each kid has. Terms such as “ghosting” and “gaslighting” have become more and more common in our generation. Teenagers are WEIRD. You never know what they’re thinking (mostly in the male community). The belief that by the end of high school the relationship will be over creates the illusion that it is acceptable to make rash decisions at the expense of the feelings of others. 

You may be thinking “Who hurt you?” Many people have. The most hurtful and inconsistent of all relationships is what is known as a “situationship”. This coinage describes the in-between of being more than friends but not quite official yet. The toxicity of this relationship is detrimental to anyone who is involved. The unknown causes anxiety and self-doubt as this stage continues. Situationships have proven to be tricky. Click here to read more relatable reasons why situationships suck.

Falling in love with someone’s potential and not who they truly are leads to the weird in-between stage. So, some nights there might be no calls, no communication. Other days, you are attached at the hip. You go on dates, but there is no consistency. That is the best way to determine if you are in a situationship. Is there consistency? Do they WANT to talk to you, be a part of your life, commit? Do they talk to you every day? Do they go out with you when they have time? Are you a priority? Are you just “talking” or are you official?  If you answered no to these questions, you are in a situationship.  

How does one deal with the awkward feelings and the decision of whether or not to turn the situationship into a relationship? There are two ways to approach this, personally, I believe there is one RIGHT way to approach this. The first is simply to bail. The lack of commitment and communication is enough to leave any relationship, even long term. In lack of better terms- if they don’t want to commit they won’t. A leopard never changes his spots, if he will cheat WITH you he will cheat ON you. The other option is to communicate and define the relationship (DTR). DTR can be scary but could potentially pay off. It is up to you to determine the best plan of action, but being idle is never the answer. My best advice, leave, and remember that no person is worth crying over. 

How do I get over a situationship? This might be the question you’ll be asking after finally leaving one. Losing feelings can be one of the hardest things a person can emotionally go through. It’s hard to detach yourself from such a confusing relationship. Situationships can do a lot of damage to one’s heart. You grow so accustomed to talking to that person every day, that changing your routine becomes challenging. However, letting go is never impossible. Listening to hardcore music, blocking them on social media, letting your emotions out are all great ways of building yourself back up. No matter how much you want to text them and tell them how much they suck, don’t. Don’t let yourself wander back to them. You won’t feel like this forever, so focus on what’s ahead of you instead of what’s in the past. 

Experiences like situationships will later become moments you look back on and maybe laugh or cringe about. They shape you to become a stronger and more patient person. No matter how hard the process may be, you will bounce back and become a better you!