Growing evermore depressed by the student’s apathy towards his lesson, local Social Studies teacher Every Thompson told the Red Onion this Monday that he didn’t know what else he could do to encourage student participation. “I’ve tried playing videos, encouraging group debate, and even pulling up freaking kahoot,” said Thompson, commenting that trying to use lingo like “hip” and “radical” did nothing to increase interest. “I eventually just stood at the front of classroom, tapping my foot and clearing my throat, but all the students did was continue to play on their phone. Nothing works with these morons.” This morning, it was confirmed that the students all received a 2 out of 3 on participation anyway.